Hi I talk & write about gender absurdities in media, politics, religion and pop culture, because I've pretty much had as much misogyny as I can take without my head flat out exploding from the idiocy. Still, whenever possible, I would really rather laugh than cry while thinking about it.

6 Myths About ‘Yes Means Yes’

6 Myths About ‘Yes Means Yes’

Myth #1: “This is a radical, new idea.”

Myth #2: “Yes Means Yes” turns most sex into criminal rape and spoils real sex.

Myth #3: Boys and men will be unfairly penalized for easy misunderstandings and miscommunications.

Myth #4: “The law ignores situations when both people might be drunk.”

Myth #5: “‘Yes means Yes’ ‘fixes’ a problem that doesn’t exist. Why can’t a person just say ‘no’ or fight back?”

Myth #6: “This law, and others like it, will change everything about how we prosecute rape claims.”

Read details here about why these are myths and how rooted in not understanding the crime, predatory rape and how people respond while being assaulted.  In the end, what much of these objections seem to come down to is a discomfort with one thing: shifting the onus from survivors of sexual assault, mainly but not by any means exclusively, women, to perpetrators, who regardless of the gender of the person assaulted, remain mainly men. Yes means yes is a challenge to the cultural entitlements that allow serial rapists to function with impunity. Less than 3% of rapists are ever jailed. On campuses, less than 2% are ever sanctioned in any way.

As Amanda Hess put it, “If you think it’s easy for a person to just say no, then why would it be so hard for his or her partner to just ask?” Why does that worry people so much?

I think it’s weird that teenage girls know more about giving blowjobs than they do about masturbation. It makes me sick to my stomach that so many young girls think sex is just about a guy finishing.

Elizabeth Olsen 


(via budddha)

This is for real. The masturbation unit of my OWL class is like, half taken up with explaining to the girls in the class what masturbation is, that girls can do it too, etc. Don’t want to masturbate? Great, rock on. Don’t know that masturbation is a thing? Makes me want to cry.

(via juno-magic)




Lovesong" | The Cure

However far away 
I will always love you
However long I stay
I will always love you


Let us never forget that Jeremy Renner used to be a makeup artist.

For as long as there’s been a mainstream feminist movement, there have been corporations eager to capitalize on women’s desire for empowerment. And simply saying men and women should be treated equally isn’t the slightest bit risky in an era when the economy demands that nearly all women work outside the home and the biggest pop stars in America embrace the term feminist. But empowerment conferences are less a product of this friendly brand of modern feminism than they are the result of changing media business models and the rise of superficial corporate do-gooderism. Consumers are so wary of traditional advertising that one of the only ways for brands to make an end-run around skepticism is to claim, “Hey, we’re doing some good here.” As Unilever has learned with all the free press its “body-positive” Dove ads have gotten, women’s empowerment is a great theme for conscientious advertising — Bitch Magazine co-founder Andi Zeisler calls it “empowertising.” You-go-girl ads appeal to a broad demographic, but unlike championing, say, stricter environmental regulation, they put the onus for change on women themselves, not corporations or society.
A woman who says “No thanks, I’ll sleep on the floor”; a woman who freezes up and tenses at your touch; a woman who says “I really don’t want to” and “We really shouldn’t” and “We can’t” and “Please at least wear a condom” is not saying yes to you, and if you would like to pretend that that is unclear, you are a liar, you are being disingenuous, you are lying and you know it.
- Mallory Ortberg, "What counts?" (via dolorimeter)